Howl at the Loon (An Alpine Grove Romantic Comedy Book 6) Read online

  Leroy raised his head and wagged his tail a few times. Kat bent to stroke the fur on the top of his head. “You’re such a sweet boy. No wonder Robin was worried about you.” Linus got up and walked around so he could shove his nose into her lap. “You are too Big Guy. Don’t worry, I still love you.”

  The phone rang and Tessa leaped up and started barking. Kat shushed at the dog and smiled at her friend Maria’s voice. “Hi, how are you?”

  “Working hard here in the advertising coal mine, girlfriend. But I have news.”

  Kat pushed Linus’s nose off of her thigh. “You mean you found out about Ned?”

  “You know it. And baby, have I got stories to tell!”

  Kat laughed. “Okay, this should be good. Do you want to try out our sleek new driveway? I’ll give you wine and Joel can make you a meal that’s created from actual food-based ingredients, instead of the chemical concoctions you tend to eat.”

  “I suppose I should dine on something healthy every once in a while to keep my fine body working at peak performance. See you later.”

  Kat spent most of the rest of the day fighting with software, trying to get more words written on her article, and walking dogs. Leroy and Emma were obviously best friends, but didn’t seem concerned about sharing some quality nap time with the rest of the pack.

  After feeding the dogs, she let them all go upstairs while she relaxed on the sofa with Joel and some much-needed escapist fiction. At the knock on the door, all of the dogs launched into a parade of frantic running and barking.

  Kat tried to quiet the cacophony and let Maria in. “Hi. Sorry about the noise.”

  Maria looked around at the canine faces that surrounded her sniffing at her dress. “You seem to have added to the furry collection.”

  “That white one is Leroy and the little red and white one is Emma.”

  “Why are the big dogs always rude?” Maria pushed Leroy’s muzzle away from her. “Listen buddy, not on the first date. I don’t know you that well yet.”

  Kat shooed the dogs back out of the entryway toward the living room. “Everyone go lie down.” She turned to Maria. “Do you want wine?”

  “Yes I do! I’ve been working like a fiend all day and I’m ready to kick back and imbibe a bit.” She waved at Joel. “What’s up in geek land?”

  He smiled. “You don’t want to know.”

  Maria pointed at him and grinned. “You are so right!”

  Joel got up and walked into the kitchen. “I’ll open the wine for you.”

  Maria nudged Kat and whispered, “Hey, he’s downright talkative today. What happened?”

  “Oh, spare me.” Kat rolled her eyes at Maria’s typical wisecrack about Joel’s quiet nature. “Sit down and start spilling your story.”

  Maria took the glass from Joel and took a sip. “Oooh, my favorite vintage—cheap.”

  Kat waved her hands in a get-on-with-it motion. “So, I guess Sharon finally dredged up Ned?”

  “Yes, she did! And she got him to tell all. Even I was impressed with her interrogation skills.”

  “I’m guessing it involved getting him drunk.”

  Maria tilted her glass at Kat. “Got it in one, girlfriend. I guess he’s been living in Vegas, but he was in LA for some reason and Sharon convinced him to meet up with ‘the old gang’ as if it were something fun. Barb was there too for moral support, and Sharon brought the weird guys from the mailroom, so it seemed like more of a gang. Having more people there made it easier to run away from the loser once she scored her intel.”

  “She brought Frank and Duncan? They never went to the bar with us back then. Good thing Ned has killed so many brain cells by now.”

  “I know. I’m sure he wasn’t any the wiser.”

  Joel sat down at the table next to Kat. “So what happened on the ill-fated trip to Vegas?”

  Maria raised her glass toward Joel. “Wow, curiosity makes you downright chatty.”

  Kat said, “Get on with the story. This is my youthful indiscretions we’re talking about, and I’d like to get it over with. Why did Ned abandon me in some creepy Vegas wedding-chapel restroom?”

  “He was there for a business venture.”

  Both Joel and Kat said, “What?”

  Kat continued, “What kind of venture?”

  “The story goes that Ned had a great business idea. He believed that just because people like him have no friends, it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be able to drive in the HOV lane.”

  “You mean the carpool lane on the freeway?”

  “Yes. You need two people in the car to be ‘high occupancy’ or you get a ticket. But if no one wants to ride with you, there’s a significant problem.”

  Joel said, “I get the impression Ned was familiar with that issue.”

  “He was disgusting,” Maria said.

  Kat nodded sadly. “Loathsome. I’d like to state for the record that my taste in men has improved dramatically since then.”

  Joel put his hand on Kat’s. “I’m flattered, although it sounds like you had nowhere to go but up.”

  “This is sadly true and a point I have made more than once,” Maria said as she peered at the burgundy droplets at the bottom of her glass.

  Kat waved her hands in exasperation. “Let’s not dwell on that. Could you please get on with it? What does the HOV lane have to do with anything?”

  “Ned’s big business idea was…” Maria waved her empty glass with a flourish. “…blow-up dolls for commuters!”

  Joel laughed as he poured wine into Maria’s glass. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

  “Thank you and no way. I would not kid about something like this. He got a line that the Elvis guy in Vegas had a close-out on inflatable dolls.”

  “That was what was going to change everything?” Kat put her forehead in her palms. “I was abandoned 400 miles from home for blow-up dolls? I can’t believe this. Well, I sort of can, since it’s Ned, but ugh.”

  “It gets better.” Maria took a sip from her glass. “Apparently there was a chase—just like in the movies. You shouldn’t have passed out. You missed everything.”

  Kat shrugged. “All right, lay it on me. I’m not sure I could feel any more humiliated than I already do.”

  Maria took a sip and cleared her throat. “Okay, while you were indisposed in the ladies room, apparently a guy in a clown mask ran in and said, “Freeze!” Ned and George were standing there with Elvis, holding the boxes of blow-up dolls. They dropped them and tried to hide behind a plastic plant. Ned started to cry and then wet his pants. George started yelling at him and then Elvis told them both to shut up.”

  Kat sighed. “Crying? Yeah, okay, this sounds like Ned.”

  “So the guy in the clown mask comes and drags Ned out from behind the fake shrubbery and George makes a break for it. The clown guy runs after him, but he’s not too speedy with those big floppy shoes and all. Meanwhile, Ned’s standing there with Elvis, not knowing what to do. So they grab the boxes and run out of the building.”

  “Okay, so there was a lot of running away.” Joel held up his palms. “Where did they go?”

  Maria waved her glass at him. “Hey, Mr. Impatient, I’m getting there. The story is that Ned saw the clown gesturing wildly at George in an alley. They were obviously yelling at each other and about to really get into it. Then the clown uses one of those water-squirting flowers and totally drenches George. I guess it was one serious phony flower, not a lame one that does a wimpy stream.”

  “Because no self-respecting clown would be caught dead with a wimpy fake flower.” Joel said as he began chuckling.

  “So anyway, getting all soaked by a clown really made George mad and he hauls off and tackles the clown.”

  Kat started to giggle. “Clown fight! Clown fight!”

  “Stop interrupting me!” Maria said. “Okay, so George and the clown start rolling around in the alley, which is full of old, nasty garbage because of an unfortunate Dumpster accident. Ned isn’t exactly a hero, but
it’s George’s car, so even Ned is smart enough to realize he’s got a major transportation problem without George. So he takes his box of blow-up dolls and runs toward them, screaming. Then he throws the box at the clown, which knocks him over because, you know, those clown shoes are kind of tippy. The clown is slowed down enough that Ned and George have a chance to haul their stinky butts back to the car and bail out of Vegas.”

  Kat stopped laughing long enough to inquire. “So after all that, Ned didn’t even get the blow-up dolls?”

  “Nope. And he lost the money he’d paid for them too. Apparently, he’s still angry. I guess he tried calling Elvis for a while, but he didn’t get anywhere. And then he found out that the guy stole his idea.”

  Joel said, “So Elvis started selling blow-up dolls to commuters?”

  “Yup. He got busted though, and had to serve time in the pokey.”

  “I feel better about being ditched now, since I was this close to living a life of crime.” Kat held up her fingertips and turned to grin at Joel. “I’m also never going to be able to listen to the song Jailhouse Rock again without laughing.”

  Chapter 14

  Big Bad Werewolf

  After dropping off the dogs, Robin’s day was filled with complaints almost from the moment she got out of the Jeep at the lodge. She’d been late for the training and had been trying to catch up ever since. Everyone had glared at her when she walked in, and it appeared that she had interrupted Alec, who was vehemently telling off Clark. The tension in the room had been extreme and Clark sat with his arms crossed, glaring at Alec and saying nothing.

  Later, in the middle of a discussion on the history of the Eagle River brand, Darrell walked in and demanded to talk to Alec. After Alec left the room, Robin had tried to smooth things over, but probably only made matters worse. She got an earful about why each and every person did not need marketing training.

  Jill, the woman who had spent most of dinner trying to suck up to Darrell, proclaimed that marketing was not the problem and that the company needed to “re-engage our core customers with compelling and differentiated campaigns.”

  Paige the frightened crier disagreed, saying that all they needed to do was “drop the green-field thinking and get our name out there to gain traction.”

  Inga of the fabulous hair said that “We have the lay of the land—what worked in the past will work now.”

  A marketing manager named Tom agreed. “What’s the problem? I don’t have the knowledge density to understand what the issues are here.”

  The copy manager Dawn claimed that all they had to do was “drop the prices to kick off a feeding frenzy.”

  Clark said that they needed to interface with design and “frontburner the copy to make it more impactful with fewer acronyms and more bold text.”

  Georgette announced that the brand didn’t matter and they’d gone “into the weeds.” Meanwhile Deb, a woman about four levels above Robin in merchandising, wanted to know why they needed a strategy anyway. They didn’t have time for a strategy, so what was the net-net? Why were they even talking about it?

  Robin had zero answers for any of these questions. She couldn’t think of one acronym related to clothing, so what was Clark talking about? And the words net-net made her think about flounder, not catalog retail. What was that all about? Mentally throwing up her hands in disgust, she continued to nod as the group argued with one another until Alec finally returned. The marketing department was quite the little jargon-filled hornet’s nest.

  After the class, Alec disappeared to deal with whatever Darrell wanted, and Robin didn’t see him for the rest of the afternoon. She found an old beat-up copy of a book in the cabin and spent most of the afternoon sitting out by the lake oddly absorbed in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Years ago, a couple of her friends had mentioned the book, but she’d never read it. As the light started fading, she moved her reading inside and was curled up on the bed with the book when Alec walked in.

  He sat down on the edge of the bed. “I hope your day was better than mine.”

  Robin smiled and moved over to give him a hug. “I’m pretty sure it was. Where were you? It’s almost time for dinner.”

  “I know. I want to take a shower first and clear my head before I have to deal with people again.”

  “I’m people and I think you’re fine. What happened?”

  “True. You’re one of my favorite people.” He gave her a kiss. “It’s not worth talking about.”

  She held up the book with the cover facing him. “Is this yours?”

  “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  “Don’t look so shocked. I may read slowly, but I do read.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that. It doesn’t seem like the type of thing you’d be interested in. You seem more like the business-book type. The seven habits of super business moguls or something.”

  He stood up and began unbuttoning his shirt. “I grabbed it when I was packing. The last time I read it was when I dropped out of college and I had no idea what to do with myself. It talks about taking care of the things that are important to you and asking questions about your life.”

  “I know. I’m reading it. The author and his son are in Montana somewhere now.”

  He threw the shirt over a chair and grinned at her as he turned toward the bathroom. “Well see, you know what I mean then.”

  Robin looked down at the book. She did know what he meant, and reading it had brought home how little inquiry she had done into her own life. Ever. Maybe it was time she put a little more mental energy into what she was doing with herself and what she wanted her future to be like.

  Alec seemed much more relaxed after his shower, but the animal cries had begun again, which was getting on Robin’s last nerve. Her irritation level was rising precipitously. More than anything, she would like to stay here and not have to eat dinner with a bunch of angry, complaining people. But she had to. Throwing the book on the bed, she said, “So are you ready? It’s time to go and be all polite and social now.”

  Alec raised his eyebrows. “What’s with you?”

  “I’m tired and I want that noise to go away. And I know everyone is going to yell at me again about all the weird noises in the lodge.” She waved her arms in frustration. “I don’t know what to do about it. I want it to please just stop.”

  “Yeah, I heard all about the noises in the lodge before the class. At the risk of making you even more angry, you don’t believe in ghosts, do you?”

  “Oh please. No, I don’t.”

  Alec took both of her hands in his. “Good. I don’t think we’re being haunted by Julia Lambert either. But I do think someone is trying to scare us.”

  “Well, it’s working.”

  Alec squeezed her hands. “I know we have to deal with dinner now, but think about this situation a little. Who would want us gone from here? And why?”

  “Well, that woman Terri obviously wanted to get into your pants. Maybe she’s got some other agenda.”

  Alec grinned. “I think she gave up on me and focused her agenda on Brett’s pants. I would have thought he might be up to no good, but he seemed sort of distracted by the end of the last retreat.”

  “He was having child-custody issues. I think he had way too much on his mind, worrying about his kids.”

  “Okay. We should go. But please think about it, okay? You’re really good at reading people.”

  Robin smiled. “Thanks. Can I have a hug for the road?”

  “Absolutely.”

  As Robin put a forkful of salad into her mouth, something outside the window caught her eye. What was that? She looked around the room and saw that all of the retreat attendees were present. Touching Alec’s forearm briefly, she raised her eyebrows at him and excused herself from the table.

  She hustled across the lobby area and went outside. The air was scented with acrid smoke. As she went down the steps she turned her head in an effort to isolate the smell. The animal cry arose, echoing
through the forest, and Robin cringed involuntarily.

  She turned to look behind her as Alec came down the stairs. “What is that smell?”

  “Maybe a campfire?”

  He pointed and took her hand, pulling her forward. “It seems like it’s coming from over there.”

  “Holy mother of pearl. Is someone trying to burn this place down now?”

  They stopped in front of a fire ring that had what looked like garbage burning in it. Alec looked at Robin. “Do you suppose it was just some kids having a party?”

  “I don’t know.” Robin threw some sand on the flames and looked around for a container to put water in. “We have a whole lake here, so it should be easy to put it out.”

  They paused at the sound of the lodge door opening again. Darrell came down the steps and walked over to them. “What are you guys doing? Why are you making a campfire?”

  Robin said, “We’re not. We’re putting it out.”

  “Do you two have some type of thing going on?” Darrel gestured at the smoldering remains. “Was this some romantic rendezvous?”

  Alec said, “No. You just saw us eating dinner five minutes ago. Robin came out here and I followed her to make sure she was okay.”

  “I thought there was something out here.” Robin said.

  Darrell put his hand on his hip. “You couldn’t see the fire from inside.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant.” Robin shook her head. “I thought I saw a person outside the window.”

  “Really?” Alec looked at Darrell. “Ernie isn’t here, right?”

  “No. I told you. The doctor had me take him over to that assisted-living place.”

  “Is he okay?” Robin said.

  “They aren’t sure. All they could tell me was that he hasn’t been eating very much or very well. All I could get him to eat was a piece of bread.” Darrell shook his head. “Poor guy. You wouldn’t know it now, but he was the best uncle. He was hilarious and we did all kinds of fun stuff together when I was a kid.”